were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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