I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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