Define "chronic" masturbator.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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