If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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