He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I just had sex on a roof
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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