I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
