im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
