so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
sarcasm needs its own font
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
