I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
