Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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