allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize