His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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