She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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