HIV tests are more positive than that guy
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
