i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
