I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
