i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
