I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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