Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize