hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
she smelled like a LAN party
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
