i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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