I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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