508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
