people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
