Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
