that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
