so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
