not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
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