Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
