Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize