He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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