Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I could have mohawked her pubes.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
