I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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