today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
