I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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