Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
