he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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