Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
