One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
