she is the kim kardashian of front butts
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
