you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Randomize
