If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
