I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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