this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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