dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize