is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
