Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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