I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
