I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
