I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
