ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
