Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Randomize
