He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
