sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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