if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
