Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
