They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
foreskin is a definite game changer
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
