So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
