i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize