no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
