My room smells like vodka and shame
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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